Welcome to “Longevity Tips” a monthly publication designed to take you off the path of confusing messages, trends and hacks and onto the path of ancient wisdom and the best of science.
We often focus on diet and exercise for longevity, but this month, we’re exploring a far more subtle—and equally powerful—factor: loneliness.
It’s a silent epidemic with a proven impact on both our healthspan (the years we live in good health) and our lifespan.
We’ll delve into the body’s surprising response to loneliness, and two ways the world’s longest-living populations naturally avoid loneliness.
I’m sure we’ve all felt lonely for certain periods of time and for various reasons. But when loneliness persists for extended periods of time, its negative effect on our health begins to show itself.
Studies have shown the feeling of chronic loneliness is a natural signal our body sends to tell us we are lacking something we need – a signal to the body similar to hunger or thirst.
When that need isn’t filled, the key effects on health are as follows:
Effect of Chronic Stress leading to Inflammation: Elevated cortisol levels can lead to high blood pressure, weight gain, muscle weakness, and a suppressed immune system.
Cardiovascular Health: The combination of stress, inflammation, and high blood pressure can damage blood vessels and increase the risk of heart disease and stroke.
Cognitive Function: Chronic loneliness can alter brain structure and lead to cognitive decline.
Sleep: Loneliness often severely disrupts sleep patterns and quality.
Gallup, Cigna Health, the CDC, the Surgeon General, and other agencies report anywhere from twenty to fifty percent of the U.S. population is experiencing somewhat or always feeling lonely.
My observational research into the longest living populations over the last decade is once again valuable for revealing how another culture avoids the high incidence of loneliness. I would like to share two ways for how it’s done naturally.
The first is the role of hospitality that fosters connectedness.
I’ve witnessed in Italy how hospitality and social connection are central to Italian life. Meals with friends, relatives and even strangers are prolonged social rituals meant to be savored with others.
Homes are centers of life and are shared with others. This is almost a rarity in the U.S. where few invitations are given to come over for dinner, or even at least, come over for a cup of coffee, a glass of wine, a late lunch, even a simple snack.
In the U.S. where a much faster pace of life, staying busy and “eating out” in a busy environment with limits on the amount of time spent has replaced the role of hospitality that leads to social connectedness.
Perhaps it’s time to open our homes to friends, family, a neighbor, or if not at home then to plan a small gathering at a park for a special occasion or for no occasion other than to build more connectedness.
As someone who loves company, you might be surprised by the positive response and new connectedness because of reaching out.
The second is maintaining work/life balance allowing for focused thinking and more leisure time dedicated to nurturing personal relationships.
One thing that’s absolutely clear about the longest living populations is this; people will get their work done, but it’s not going to be at the expense of family and/or friends. I’ve heard more than a few times that Italians almost seem to be lazy.
Nothing could be further from the truth. They work hard but they treasure their relationships first.
It might be “easier said than done” to gain work/life balance, here are a few suggestions:
Set boundaries with technology. Turn off notifications: Silence work-related email, chat, and other app notifications on your personal devices after work hours and on weekends.
Create a “shutdown ritual”: At the end of the day, have a routine to signal that work is over. This could be as simple as closing your laptop, clearing your desk, or taking a short walk. This ritual helps your brain transition from work mode to personal mode.
Learn to say “no”: This is often the hardest but most crucial step. Politely but firmly decline requests that fall outside your defined hours, capacity, or job description. You can offer an alternative, such as, “I’m at capacity on my current projects, but I can add that to my to-do list for tomorrow morning.
Setting boundaries isn’t about being unhelpful or lazy; it’s about being balanced. When you are well-rested and not stressed, you are able to show up as your best self—both for your work and, more importantly, for the people in your life.
Finally, let’s start a revolution of kindness and connection and make a difference in the lives of others and our own. It’s all part of longevity.
To Your Healthspan and Longevity,
Carol Amendola D’Anca
Master of Clinical Nutrition
Host of “Authentic Italy” Lifestyle Immersions
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